There are two types of advice. There’s the bad advice I should NEVER have listened to like when the artist at the MAC counter highly suggested penciling in my eyebrows for dramatic effect. In all honesty, I’ve seen clowns and drag queens with better faux brows, not to mention the makeover made my 4-year old daughter grimace with understandable fear in her eyes. It was not a good look ladies! When the realization sets in I’ve succumbed to bad advice, “Cookie Fierce”, my cancer fighting alter ego wants to fire back with a snarky ‘If I want your advice, I’ll give it to you!’.
The second type of advice is good advice. Five years ago I was fortunate to meet a wise woman who imparted some sage wisdom upon me when it came to ordering the important things in life. She gave me a list that read: “GOD, Health, Family, Vacation, Work and in that order.” Over the years I’ve grown to appreciate this list and realize anything outside of it cannot be made a priority. For me, GOD is not confined within 4 walls on Sundays. If I neglect my health, my family will be the ones who ultimately suffer. There are two types of family-the ones we are born into and the friends we love deeply who become our family. A “staycation” is just as relaxing as a vacation so long as the margaritas are always flowing. And finally, work at what I love.
As I travel this survivorship road, what I’m discovering is that the roots of bad advice originate from another person’s experiences, limitations, deepest desires, fears or possibly even jealousy. Rather than setting “Cookie Fierce” loose, to seperate the good from the bad, I’ve learned to “turn the volume down” and turn my inner guiding voice up. I am fortunate to have a close set of trusty personal advisers, so I must remember not to turn my own inner volume up so loud that I drown out valuable good advice. For some people the “inner voice” is an internal sensing that danger is near or something (or someone) isn’t good for us. For me, it’s a whisper that tells me what to do at just the right moment directing my steps. I’m so glad for the inner voice speaking to me in 2012, when a specialists gave me the option of taking a 6-month wait & see approach about the 3 lumps in my breast. In this moment it was time to “turn down the volume” to hear the still small whisper telling me to choose an immediate breast biopsy. I chose the immediate biopsy and let’s just say… the rest of the story went down in breast cancer history. Discovering my own inner voice is empowering me with courage to walk this survivorship journey on my own terms; to freely live a life wide open without regret. So moving forward if I decline bad advice it’s purely because I’m turning the outside volume to mute for my own well-being and self-preservation.
So tell me what types of advice did you receive and what were some of the lessons from your inner voice as you walk through your breast cancer journey? Feel free to leave me a comment below.
With Love,
Tonya
Pink ribbon sunshine 